and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I wear drunk well.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
