The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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