8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
