Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
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I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
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Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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