Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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