she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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