There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
