Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
