used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
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