Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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