Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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