your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
