I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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