people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
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