i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize
