I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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