There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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