You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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