I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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