What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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