But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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