You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
dude. I can hear the air.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
