Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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