and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
tell me about the eggs
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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