You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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