I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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