oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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