come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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