I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
