im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
