Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
