Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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