i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
