the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
