you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
