I got chris browned last night
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
