so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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