I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Oh god it's open bar.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize