Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We had to coat check the pizza.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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