I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
