He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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