I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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