I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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