tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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