i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize