No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
