i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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