id be glad to
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
