Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
