Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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