wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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