lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
