This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
