the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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