Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
