I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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